John Tortorella and the Lightning will be smiling if Steven Stamkos or Drew Doughty are drafted this summer. (CP Images)
Apparently, there are a few teams that didn't get the memo. You know, the one that says if you have sucked for most of the year, chances are you do indeed suck. A fruitless, late-season ride does little to change that.
So, why not just ride out the storm, string together a few more losses honest efforts, head to the draft, take a pick-of-the-litter draft choice and smile.
OK, I won't go as far as to use the word "tank", per se, but there's no harm easing the foot off the gas pedal a tad. Use the backup, play the rookies, pull a star player out of the lineup and blame it on, uh, let's see, a tweaked groin.
Never mind a spirited, ill-advised run for a playoff spot that falls achingly short or, in a best-case scenario, yields the last invitation to the ball only to get sent home minutes after arriving.
Please, don't feed me this load about anything can happen once you get to the playoffs. Teams like the Oilers, Flames and Sabres are more exception than the rule when they set off on implausible runs to the Cup finals.
Pop quiz: tell me the last team to actually win the Cup after slipping into the dance through the back-door.
And, after all, who remembers second place? Case in point, Canadian golf Hall of Famer Dan Halldorson, one of my former bosses, was once asked what it would mean to be the low Canuck at the Canadian Open.
"It's like being the tallest midget," he deadpanned.
There are, of course, exceptions to every rule.
Teams like the Washington Capitals, who have a wealth of young talent and could skip the next couple of drafts without missing a beat, are exempt from my harangue. When you are loaded with promise, the envelope can be pushed a little.
But take the Toronto Maple Leafs, for instance. A spirited charge late in the season is still going to leave them on the outside looking in. Finishing ninth, tenth, 14th or 15th, does it really matter?
It's the same game. Golf.
Some teams know how to do it right. As of this morning, the six sad-sack outfits behind the Leafs are a combined 18-35-7 in recent weeks.
Or, as a clever contributor recently noted, "stinkin' their way to Stamkos."
Stinking the joint out really isn't that hard and, if done the right way, can almost look accidental.
Some teams just need a little guidance.