Seeing how I have nothing better to do on a lazy Sunday evening, there are still seven more sleeps until the Super Bowl and my boss will likely call me in to a closed-door meeting Monday if I didn't watch the game, I thought I would take a few minutes to pass on my thoughts as I watch the NHL All-Star Game from Atlanta:
6:05: The Hives open up the show. The Hives? Ominous, no? Just who the hell are these guys anyway? Cute girls bouncing up and down in front of the stage - Thrashers cheerleaders, I reckon - but the camera would rather zoom in and out for close-ups on the singer and guitar player. Damnit.
6:12: Two things come to mind as the Eastern lineup is announced. John Paddock looks like he would rather be anywhere else and it seems Tomas Kaberle trimmed his unibrow for this one. And a marching band? Pu-lease.
6:14: Big cheer for Marian Hossa, but nothing compared to what Igor Kovalchuk received. Almost blow the lid off that place. Who knew there were that many hockey fans in Atlanta? Sure would be nice if a few of them showed up to some Thrasher games, huh?
6:18: The players on the ice seem to have the same reaction as I as The Hives close out the introductions. "Who the hell are these guys?"
6:19: Kathleen Edwards sings the Canadian national anthem. And not well. Is she Bettman's niece? Is that how she got this gig? And she did it wearing a Saskatchewan Roughriders Grey Cup shirt. Uh, Kathleen, I'm betting very few people in this place know where Saskatchewan is, never mind who the Roughriders are. Horrible rendition while wearing a football shirt. Nice call, NHL. Did you pick anthem singers in a raffle?
6:21: The Atlanta Boy's Choir belts out an amazing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner and more than make up for Ms. Edwards' butchering. The kids should have done both.
6:25: Game on. Rick Nash scores twelve seconds in. I see this is going to be another defensive gem...
6:27: The East ties it up with Eric Staal getting it a minute or so later. Staal made it to the game and isn't in the pokey, which proves there wasn't a bachelor party Saturday night.
6:36: No goals in almost six minutes. These guys suck.
6:36: During a welcome commercial break, switch over to golf. Tiger wins by eight at Torrey Pines. Shocker.
6:38: Close-up on Alex Ovechkin on the bench. Yikes. Nice tooth you got there.
6:39: Markov scores on a perfect feed from Richards. Over eight minutes between goals. 2-1 East.
6:46: This is about as exciting as watching paint dry. As if on cue, Jason Spezza sets up Ovechkin in close to make it 3-1. Yay.
6:51: Campbell increases the East lead to 4-1. Seems the West didn't get the memo. No, hitting is taboo in this thing, but you can actually put your stick in the way of a pass.
6:54: Martin St. Louis scores. 5-1. Running up the score. Someone should pay. Would give anything to see Chris Pronger throw an elbow to send a little message.
6:55: I sure as hell hope that is John Paddock's daughter behind the bench with him.
6:57: Rick DiPietro, 15-year contract? He is making Charles Wang look like a genius.
6:58: First period over. Thank God. I've had toothaches less painful than that.
7:02: In a between-period pucker-up, Chris Pronger admits he fell on his ass the previous night, tripping over some TV cables during the Skills Competition. If he already didn't have enough money to buy Rhode Island, I'm guessing lawsuit.
7:16: Standing ovation for Willie O'Ree, who broke the NHL color barrier half a century ago. Classy touch.
7:18: Second period starts. What are the odds the East lets up and allows the West into this thing, just to make it interesting? Just watch...
7:20: Alyssa Milano interviewed. Like this game, her career is sucking but she is the best thing I've seen on this night. Then again, is this the star factor of the NHL All-Star Game? Someone get Michael Vick out of the slammer for a few hours...
7:24: Someone just lay a hit. Anyone. Even a little nudge. Dion Phaneuf, you hearing me? I'm expecting Brian Boitano to hop over the boards at any second.
7:29: Tim Thomas is making his all star debut and it shows as he is interviewed on the bench. Talk about uncomfortable.
7:31: Rick Nash makes it 2-for-2 on breakaways tonight to cut the West deficit to 5-2. A few watching on TV wake up, even for a brief moment...
7:32: Flick over to Sportsnet to watch the AHL Skills Competition. More entertaining than this monkey show.
7:36: Interview with the parents of Phaneuf. Hot blonde in front of them as well, offering some much-needed eye candy. Wonder if it is Dion's wife, and common sense gets the better of me. Think I'll hold off on a smart-ass comment.
7:41: Scott Niedermayer scores to tighten it up. At least this looks like a game. Nice to see Nieds finally bought a razor.
7:43: We just found out that was indeed Paddock's daughter. So much for the scandal article I was looking to write.
7:53: Just woke up from a Coors Light-induced power nap from the night before. Feel refreshed.
7:55: Stupid me. I thought the Super Bowl was next week. What's with the band in the second intermission? I must admit, pretty good show even if it looks like Ne-Yo wants to get it on with his dancers right on the ice. Seeing what they are wearing - or not, wearing - can't really blame the guy. Might see a spike in ratings.
8:10: Third period about to start and Tim Thomas and Manny Legace are in net for the final period. No, that is not a typo. Thanks for not showing up, Luongo and Brodeur.
8:12: Ryan Getzlaf makes Thomas look like a Junior B goalie. 5-4. Hey, Tim, some goalies use this thing called the poke check. Try it.
8:14: Is Rick Nash the best breakaway player in the league? There is number three tonight. Get ready for a new car, Rick. Oh, and now we see why Thomas has never played an All-Star game prior to tonight.
8:15: A few fans throw hats on the ice to honor Nash. I would like to personally thank them. Otherwise, we would never have seen that babe skate out to retrieve them. That skirt gets any shorter she'll be wearing it as a bra.
8:17: Hossa scores to make it 6-5 East. Crowd goes nuts. May as well enjoy it. He'll be out of Atlanta in a few weeks.
8:19: 6-6 now as Phaneuf pots one for the West. Four goals in the first five minutes or so of the third. Put Nabokov and DiPietro back in, for the love of God.
8:24: Greg Millen asking Tim Thomas how much pressure there is during the All-Star Game. During the game. With Thomas in net. Yep, lots of pressure, Greg. Intriguing journalism.
8:28: Gaborik puts the West in front 7-6. Wonder if Thomas is about to tell Millen to shut his pie hole.
8:32: Staal with his second evens it up at 7-7. Each side with a touchdown and a convert.
8:35: Depending on what bookie you deal with, the Patriots are favored by 11 or 12 next week. I'll take the Giants to cover.
8:39: Last minute of play. Savard roofs it with 21 ticks left on the clock. Looks like overtime will be avoided, which is sure to draw protest from the 60 or 70 watching over on Versus.
8:42: Final 8-7. West outshoots the East 51-33.
8:52: Eric Staal wins MVP. Huh? Guess the judges missed Nash's three-highlight reel breakaway goals. Where is the car? In that little briefcase?
8:59: I'm out. The better half wants to watch the Screen Actor's Guild Awards. She sat through this thing with me, so it is the least I can do...