Really, I have no idea what Ray Emery's plans are for New Year's Eve, but I've got $50 that says he'll be the guest of honor at a festive little whine and cheese shindig.
Act your age, Ray, not your goals against average. The temper tantrums are getting nauseating.
Without a doubt, the edgy Senators' goaltender is in the early stages of a three-alarm meltdown that should all but end his time in Ottawa.
Time to call the real estate agent. Put the house on the block.
When your captain calls you out, it's time to shut your trap and pack your bags.
Seems Emery threw a hissy fit Thursday at the Senators' game-day skate, playing tough guy on a row of Gatorade bottles before tossing his stick into the stands.
Mature stuff, huh?
Throughout the Ottawa valley, drivers are getting nervous.
It appears someone is a little cranky about getting his butt stapled to the bench in the nation's capital, and Daniel Alfredsson could care less.
"To get considered for a start, (the coaching staff) is looking for (Emery) to show that he wants to be in there," Alfredsson told reporters. "You have to work hard in practice to show that you want to play. That's what most players do when they're not playing and the goalies are no different."
Here's a novel concept, Ray. If you're looking to become the go-to guy, try stopping a puck or two instead of worrying about how pretty your mask looks.
Time and time again.
One need not be a math professor to explain why Emery is second-best in Ottawa.
While he stews and bitches, Martin Gerber has quietly slipped into the starter's seat, posting a dazzling 19-5-1 docket with a .926 save percentage.
Emery, on the other hand, is 5-3-3 while boasting a vanilla .891 percentage playing for the best team in the Eastern Conference.
Calculators aren't necessary, folks, it really is a simple equation. Emery is sucking. Gerber is not.
Better days are ahead, Ray, so keep your chin up.
As we sit here, you are probably being shopped around the league. Bryan Murray is dropping his line in the trade pond and someone, somewhere is going to bite.
Otherwise, suck it up, buttercup.
You'll get to start again.
Where, we have no idea, but you probably aren't going to be happy when that plane lands.
Gatorade bottles be warned.