It's not even Hallowe'en yet and already a bunch of imposters wearing New Jersey Devils uniforms have frightened a haunted houseful of fantasy GMs half to death.
I mean, the guy wearing Martin Brodeur's number resembles the legendary Bob Sauve. And the stiff masquerading as Patrik Elias is making Zdeno Ciger look like an offensive dynamo.
This year's Devils really are tricking everyone into believing they are a storied franchise.
For rookie head coach Brent Sutter, his team's slow start (3-6-1) has been no freakin' treat.
In fact, a look inside Coach Sutter's goody bag would cause even the heartiest of fantasy GMs to gag.
- One decent chocolate bar (Zach Parise and his 10 points in 10 games)
- A half-eaten candy apple (Veteran defensive forward John Madden, who is minus-3)
- A mashed-up bag of chips (Free-agent bust Dainius Zubrus, who has contributed just four assists)
- Some stale licorice (Defenseman Paul Martin, who has yet to score despite anchoring the powerplay)
- A tiny box of soggy mints (Brian Gionta and his three measly goals)
- A handful of those awful candies no one wants (Vitaly Vishnevski, Johnny Oduya, Sheldon Brookbank and Mike Mottau).
Lou Lamoriello, who used to be like the best house on the block, filling your fantasy pumpkin with great stuff, now is making out like the Cat Lady no one stops to visit on All Hallows Eve.
He let Brian Rafalski, Scott Niedermayer and Scott Gomez go and replaced them with scary-looking fill-ins Karel Rachunek, Mottau and Zubrus.
All of this makes the Devils new rink, the Prudential Center, a real house of horrors.