The NHL conference finals are set to begin, with the West final featuring the Wings and Stars while the Penguins and Flyers (pictured) are set for the Battle of Pennsylvania in the East. (CP Images)
Enough of the talking heads — it's time the players do the talking on the ice! I have had it with the predictions, the breakdowns, the insider information.
Do I really need to know, and why should I even care, how many bags of peanuts will be sold, or who has the greatest team-orientated men's room, complete with flashing goal light? Soon I expect an overhead view from the local news chopper chasing a car on the highway that is displaying the home team's flag flapping from the window.
There will soon be pictures plastered on the web of five-year-old kids, with their faces painted, a feature of some guy who mowed the team logo into his lawn, even live broadcasts by a radio station giving away free tickets to anyone who can do the stupidest thing involving worms and raw eggs.
Drop the puck. I am ready for hockey and just hockey.
Please, no more hockey columns from the 'hockey expert' who has actually watched only two or three games this year. Here in Detroit I caught a cab company trying to take advantage of Wings' frenzy. They put the team logo on their cabs—upside down! Even the churches are getting in on the action—how creative. The Virgin Mary rode a Mule, just like the Red Wings!
Ah, even the local morning news is getting in on the action. As I am typing this, they go to a live view of the Joe Louis Arena. Hello, it is 7:30am — there's nobody there!
Please hurry, drop the puck, NOW!
I now look out my window and see kids walking to school — there goes Probert, Yzerman and Shanahan — those names that are plastered on the back of the t-shirts they are wearing. I am going to have to talk with their parents, maybe suggest an update to the kids' wardrobe!
I am closing my blinds, shutting off the TV, clicking off the radio. I have had enough. I will only read the hockey-related stories on the web, because as you know, everything you read on the web is true!
I will live this day in total darkness, waiting for the puck to drop tonight. I am shutting down, forcing myself to avoid the fake excitement. I want the games to generate the hype, the way it should be. I won't stand for the late-arriving bandwagoners forcing me to watch them. Besides, in a couple of weeks, they won't know a hockey puck from a baseball! They follow what they think is popular; we on the other hand, follow our game every minute of every day.
The best of what hockey has to offer is upon us. Enjoy, yell, scream; just don't call him Dats-see-u-ek like the TV guy just did!